We’ve all had them. Days where your brain feels like it’s wading through mud. You can’t focus, misplace your keys, and struggle to start even simple tasks. These are what we might call “bad brain days,” but there’s a more precise term for it: a lapse in executive functioning. For most people, it’s a temporary frustration. But for many autistic individuals, this struggle is a daily reality. The simple truth is that we all experience executive function challenges. Enacting this framework can unlock a deeper, more compassionate understanding of autism.
In a recent “Autism Weekly” podcast episode, pediatric neuropsychologist Dr. Lauren Kenworthy shared a powerful perspective. She explained that executive functioning isn’t about willingness or intelligence; it’s a brain-based skill set that helps us manage our lives. By recognizing our own moments of disorganization, we can better appreciate the hurdles faced by the neurodivergent community and learn how to provide meaningful support.
What is Executive Functioning?
Dr. Kenworthy describes executive functioning as the brain’s “air traffic control system.” It’s a set of mental skills that help us get things done. These skills live in the frontal lobe of our brain and allow us to carry out goal-directed behavior efficiently.
Key executive functioning skills include:
- Planning and Prioritizing: Deciding which steps to take and in what order.
- Organization: Keeping track of information and materials.
- Task Initiation: Starting a task without procrastination.
- Working Memory: Holding information in your mind while you use it.
- Flexibility: Adapting to new situations or unexpected changes.
- Self-Regulation: Managing emotions and impulses.
- Big-Picture Thinking: Understanding the main idea instead of getting lost in details.
When these skills aren’t working in harmony, life can feel overwhelming. A simple request like “clean your room” becomes a complex project involving dozens of micro-decisions. For autistic individuals, this isn’t a sign of defiance. It’s often a case of a brain that is wired differently.
“A Can’t, Not a Won’t”
One of the most profound insights from the podcast is the idea of reframing our perspective. Dr. Kenworthy urges us to question whether a “won’t” could actually be a “can’t… yet.” An autistic child who refuses to write an essay might not be defiant. They may be struggling to organize their thoughts, imagine the final product, and sequence the steps required to get there.
This is often confusing for parents and teachers because autistic individuals can have an unusual pattern of strengths and challenges. A child might be able to recite complex facts about a special interest but struggle to remember their homework. This isn’t contradictory; it’s a hallmark of a neurodivergent processing style. Their detail-oriented thinking is a strength, but it can make seeing the “big picture” more difficult. Recognizing this helps us move from judgment to support.
Strategies for Supporting Executive Functioning
Instead of trying to “fix” the individual, we can adapt the environment to fit their brain. Creating supportive and predictable surroundings is crucial for success. This approach builds confidence and reduces the cognitive load required to navigate daily life.
Creating a Supportive Environment at Home
Parents can play a vital role in fostering executive functioning skills.
- Establish Predictable Routines: Consistency is key. A predictable morning and evening routine reduces the number of decisions a child has to make, freeing up mental energy for other tasks.
- Use Visual Aids: Checklists, calendars, and visual schedules make abstract concepts like time and sequence more concrete. For a child who struggles with cleaning their room, a checklist with pictures (put clothes in hamper, make bed, put books on shelf) can turn an overwhelming task into manageable steps.
- Give Transition Warnings: Shifting from one activity to another requires mental flexibility. Providing a five-minute warning before it’s time to leave the park or turn off a game gives the brain time to prepare for the change.
- Develop a Common Language: Use words like “flexibility” and “big picture” in everyday conversation. You can say, “We need to be flexible right now because the library is closed. What’s our backup plan?” This externalizes the thought process and teaches problem-solving skills directly.
Advocating for School-Based Intervention
The school environment can be particularly challenging for students with executive function difficulties. The demands of multiple subjects, changing classes, and social pressures can be immense. Advocating for the right support is essential.
- Understand an IEP or 504 Plan: An Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a 504 accommodation plan can provide legally-mandated supports. These are not about lowering expectations but about providing the right tools for success.
- Ask for Specific Accommodations: Accommodations can include access to a teacher’s notes, extended time on tests, breaking down large assignments into smaller chunks, or using a computer for writing assignments. The goal is to match the support to the specific challenge.
- Focus on Environmental Fit: Dr. Kenworthy encourages parents and educators to ask, “What are the ways that the environment this kiddo is in are not a good fit for their brain?” This shifts the conversation from blaming the student to finding collaborative solutions. Programs like “Unstuck and on Target” are school-based interventions designed to teach these exact skills.
The Power of Building on Strengths
It’s easy to focus on the challenges, but it’s equally important to recognize and build upon the unique strengths of a neurodivergent brain. Many autistic individuals are incredibly detail-oriented, honest, and passionate about their interests. These are not just personality traits; they are valuable skills.
By understanding their own profile of strengths and challenges, individuals can become powerful self-advocates. Knowing you need a quiet space to work or extra time to process information allows you to ask for what you need to succeed, whether in school, at work, or in the community. As Dr. Kenworthy notes, executive functions continue to develop into our twenties, so there is always room for growth and improvement with the right interventions.
Your Next Step
The idea that we all have “bad executive functioning days” is more than just a relatable phrase. It’s a call for empathy. It reminds us that the struggle to stay organized, flexible, and on-task is a human experience. For our autistic loved ones, friends, and colleagues, this struggle is simply more frequent and more intense.
By adopting a mindset of compassionate curiosity, we can stop seeing “won’t” and start looking for the “can’t… yet.” We can build environments that support, rather than hinder, and empower individuals to use their unique strengths to thrive.
